There is an aphorism by Jean Paul Sartre that values the healthy aspect of loneliness:
“If you are sad when you are alone, you are probably in bad company”.
There is nothing more truthful than this statement. If you cannot enjoy being with yourself, how could you cultivate broader relationships that involve other personalities, different visions of the world and thoughts?
Loneliness is a connection with oneself
Psychologists state that being on your own will allow you to enter into yourselves and to understand the important aspects of your deep being. If lived well, then, solitude is a constructive time and a precious opportunity for personal development, ultimately it is freedom.
Freedom to enjoy your presence and your deep essence. Freedom to take moments, even long ones, of reflection on yourself; clarification on your thoughts, doubts, trying to put order in your mind, reassess priorities and erase what unnecessarily afflicts you.
Loneliness is a gift that everyone should give to themselves, a fundamental resource for a healthy life. It could be seen as a pause in life that gives you energy and makes you start again.
Therefore, you shouldn’t perceive the state of loneliness like an insane perspective, as often happens.
It is not always a negative state of mind that brings you discomfort, a sense of abandonment, sadness, emptiness, and suffering.
The pleasure of solitude in introverted people
Jenn Granneman in her book The Secret Life of Introverts does not make the introverted person feel wrong, but gives a new perspective to the introverted reader, making them feel understood, welcomed in their particular world that often is far from the others. Introverts like to savor the positive mental state of loneliness, the pleasure of spending time in solitude, of being alone.
Quiet moments for introverts are not dead times, that time is not wasted. On the contrary, they are meant to help to rediscover one’s identity, often lost in the frenetic chaos of everyday life. Loneliness can actually help improve your life and character. With silent reflection you get to process problems and thoughts, you get rid of daily oppressions and the brain fully enjoys them, regenerating itself, through concentration on the real vital issues, those that really matter.
Loneliness is important for introverted people. Without those authentic moments of privacy, introverts would feel worn out and weighed down, tired and lacking energy.
Solitude serves to regenerate energy, give more strength and vitality to those who, otherwise, could not get moments of joy. Stillness is “equipping” yourself again, and should not be confused with isolation.
Hikikomori syndrome
If there is something beneficial in solitude, on the other hand it should not be confused with isolation that can be associated with a pathology, a syndrome that characterizes subjects who do not go out because the world literally scares them. The extreme example of loneliness is called by the Japanese, Hikikomori (stay aside).
This syndrome is characterized by the particular social paralysis that impacts the affected subjects, very often of young age, who have even stopped going to school or work. It’s a total self-confinement caused by fear of the other and social fears.
This pathological form is of course clearly distinguished from the behavior of those who, like introverts, savor loneliness, and take only a break from the world for a few days or just a few hours, and then recover, recharge and return among people and the daily routine, made of work, school, relatives, friends, and ultimately, life.
What do you think about loneliness? Do you know introverted people? Or are you an introvert yourself?
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