Hello blog readers! I’ve been away for a while, and I’ll probably go back there right after this, but in the meantime, please allow me to become part of your scrolling experience today.
Unpopular opinion: I’m not really into journaling (I know, I know- BOOOOOO on me).
But maybe the joke is on me because now that I’ve taken several weeks off from blog writing, I’m feeling a very slight urge to write again (emphasis on “very slight”). And, the few things I’ve begun writing are coming out like…… journal entries.
I’m not sure how I feel about that. Actually I am sure. I think it “sounds weird” when I read it back and I doubt it has any appeal to readers other than me- and sometimes not even that.
But, you can only play the cards in your hand, and right now my hand is causing me to sort out whether I need to make some type of directional change in my life, or not. I’m not talking about “scrap-everything-and-start-again” level changes, but maybe something significant enough to point the thing in a somewhat new direction.
Or…..maybe not. Maybe everything is good and I just need a minor tweak- like putting walnuts in my morning yogurt instead of almonds.
So, while I sort this out, my journal-esque writing and internal thoughts are tending to hover around the idea of…….purpose.
And if your insomnia is so bad that you’re still reading this ramble, here’s where I currently am with the idea of purpose. (Spoiler Alert: if you like conclusions, take heed- I don’t draw any)
Anyway- here we go; my latest thoughts on the concept of purpose.
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They say that it’s important to have a purpose in life and that, especially as you get older, having a purpose keeps you going; keeps life meaningful.
But when I was a kid, I don’t think I had a purpose. I was just trying to get through the day, enjoying it as best I could. Was that my purpose?
Many people say that having a purpose keeps you young. Are they correct?
When I was a kid, all I did was live, learn, do and enjoy. That’s it.
It wasn’t until I went to college that I took on a purpose related to something else in the world. I adopted the purpose of becoming a teacher, and subsequently, teaching kids about music and life.
Later on, my purpose changed to raising my two daughters.
Of course we can have more than one purpose at any given time. Right now, as it has been for several decades, I feel like my purpose is to create things, play music, and entertain people.
But I’m not sure that’s good enough.
I’m not sure that purpose is satisfying enough.
I love it, and I’ll keep doing it, but maybe I need to be doing something else too? Maybe music should go back to being the “side hustle” purpose it has been for most of my life; always present, central and critical, but not primary.
Maybe, as I age through my 50s as a retired teacher and empty-nester, with a hopefully long slate of years left ahead of me- maybe I need a new primary purpose?
I kind of feel like I do.
But I also kind of feel like maybe I don’t need any purpose at all.
Maybe my new purpose is to recapture that old feeling of exploration, learning and enjoyment I knew as a kid; to be just for the sake of being.
I don’t know.
Read more at Wise & Shine or visit Todd at www.toddfulginiti.com (music) or www.fiveoclockshadow.life (writing).