Two days ago, I was in the car with my friend on the way to listen to a book reading. As we drove, my friend commented on how observant my four-year-old son is. It immediately sparked some stories about conversations we have when he’s riding in the back seat of the car. Like on a recent frosty morning when we passed a baseball field and he said, “The grass is sparkly.” Or on a dark evening as we were driving home and he said, “I see the moon.” And then a moment later, “And it’s following us!”
Then my friend and I arrived and went in to hear David Brooks speak about his new book, “How To Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen.” He was telling us of his journey from living in his head to living in his heart and he did it largely through stories.
He made the quip that Columbia, Wesleyan, and Brown decided he should attend the University of Chicago. And then another story about his friend who decided to become a boxing legend the University of Chicago way – by reading a book about it.
Brooks recounted a story about being a big baseball fan and never catching a fly ball. But then during one game about 15 years ago he was at a game with his young son and Brooks caught a shattered bat. Which he said is way better than a ball. And instead of standing up and celebrating with all those around him, he put it at his feet, and went on watching the game. Later on, he reflected on his observational detachment, “C’mon buddy. Feel a little joy!”
He told the story about when he knew he had descended too much into being a workaholic – when his silverware drawer only held post it notes. And the cupboard for plates? Stationary.
He went on to speak more in-depth about how we can see those around us a little better. He believes that our consistent little actions in how we treat others drive both our own happiness and the overall function of society.
“There is one skill that lies at the heart of any healthy person, family, school, community organization, or society: the ability to see someone else deeply and make them feel seen – to accurately know another person, to let them feel valued, heard, and understood.”
How to Know a Person by David Brooks
And Brooks believes seen another is creative,
“Seeing someone well is a powerfully creative act. No one can fully appreciate their own beauty and strengths unless those things are mirrored back to them in the mind of another.”
How To Know a Person by David Brooks
One of the things I walked away wondering is whether writers, authors, bloggers, creatives, have an edge in seeing. We prepare and present the stories that we relay to the world. All the stories that David Brooks told were great. And then I thought of the conversation in the car on the way down about my son and the data I gathered and presented about who he was through story.
Here’s my question. The more I write, the more I find I have a story at the ready. The better I might be at collecting other people’s stories. Does that extend to being better at seeing and being seen?
I’ve published a related post about the different ways we see things on my personal blog: Creating Eyes that See
Please check out these other items of interest:
More about Wynne Leon and her story-telling journey
Workshop about creativity jump start that I delivered with Dr. Vicki Atkinson
Speaking and workshops on leadership through creativity to build resilient teams
Podcast about the how and why of creativity
Articles and corporate creativity resources
Corporate evaluate your team needs for creativity
Individual creativity survey for individuals
My book about my journey to find what fueled my dad’s indelible spark and twinkle can be found on Amazon: Finding My Father’s Faith.
You can find me on Instagram and Twitter @wynneleon
(featured photo from Pexels)