True, intrinsic self-esteem is extremely conducive to happiness. But self-esteem that is merely contingent, on the other hand, is not. Following up on a previous post, I want to share a few contrasts between true and contingent self-esteem. Gabor Mate identifies these in Scattered (see chapter 25).
| Contingent self-esteem… | True self-esteem… |
| evaluates | accepts |
| “is fickle, going up and down with a person’s ability to produce results” | “is steadfast, not adventitious” |
| “places great store in what others think” | “is independent of others’ opinions” |
Contingent self esteem evaluates the worth of the person on the basis of achievements (or lack thereof). This is what makes contingent self-esteem fickle.
True self-esteem accepts the person (as worthy) regardless of achievements. This makes true self-esteem steadfast.
True, intrinsic self-esteem seems a lot more conducive to a life of happiness, and maybe even to a life of great achievement. What do you think?
Besides writing, SeekerFive creates visual art and designs under his Leaf Town brand. Some of these can be seen on Instagram @leaftowndesigns, https://www.instagram.com/leaftowndesigns, and at https://society6.com/leaftown/masks. Currently he is emphasizing face mask designs.
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