Have you ever wondered how you should interpret your eye contact with other people? What too much eye contact means? What too little eye contact means? Why someone is deliberately avoiding eye contact with you?
Usually, your eye contact with someone is telling something about your interaction with that person or about that person as an individual. If you can observe how that person makes eye contact with other people, you can say if your interaction has something to do with yourself or with that person (if it’s different with you, then it’s about the interaction with you).
Too much eye contact might mean the person is interested in you or in what you’re saying. It also might mean that the person you’re talking to has a high level of self-confidence and that he/she is not afraid of the situation.
Avoiding eye contact might mean several things. It’s possible that the person you’re talking to is not feeling comfortable in that situation. Why? Well, maybe because he/she is not confident enough talking to you or maybe he/she is ashamed of something that person did to you. Or maybe that person is afraid and he/she is trying to hide something. It also might mean that the person you’re talking to feels inferior to you.
A good eye contact is a sign of a healthy interaction between the ones involved. Poor eye contact is a sign of a poor interaction because one or all of those involved feels uncomfortable being in that interaction.
Another possible reason for poor eye contact is if that person has Aspergers . Most high functioning Autistic people have trouble with eye contact…like I do.
I was just about to write the same thing but you beat me to it!
I will say this, as a middle aged person with Asperger’s, I’ve had to force myself to give more eye contact because it is “better” to give it. One trick I’ve used is to look at the person’s nose or mouth, moving my focus so as to not appear to be staring at the person’s teeth, which can be interpreted as looking at something “distracting in his/her teeth.”
I suppose this is a long-winded way of saying you’re damned if you do, damned if you don’t.
That’s a good tactic, I’ll have to try that. 🙂
Yes, of course. I’m not referring to medical conditions.
It’s amazing how much we communicate beyond our words!
Very very true! And words might be false, but the body language will always stay true to the real thoughts.
Oh yes, eye contact is so important and tells us so much. I have consciously worked on it for last few years.
This is awesome! What have you discovered since you’ve become better at unraveling the meanings of eye contact?
I am able to convey my love and kindness to others and see their love and their pains more clearly. It has been very rewarding
Well, frequency of eye contact is also cultural. In Europe, it is favored. In Latin America, like Guatemala for example, the indigenous Maya prefer indirect eye contact. Many non-Western cultures consider direct eye contact to be rude or aggressive. That said, in the US I was taught by my parents to look people in the eye. When I travel, I observe the habits in my host country. -Rebecca
Great point! How easy is it for you to let go of what you’ve been thought do to and adapt to the local culture?
Great question as always. I must remind myself frequently of the alternate eye contact rules in other cultures. It is very challenging for me to adapt that way. -Rebecca
I don’t make eye contact sometimes because I want to avoid making the other person uncomfortable. Never thought that it could be seen as a “power play” or manifestation an inferiority complex. Damn, your either Machiavelli or Gollum. Thanks for the perspective
I’ll begin staring down my boss and coworkers every morning so that they know that I am neither above or beneath them. Maybe I should say it to their faces to intensify the bond.
If you ever get into trouble because of it, blame me!